Authored by the winners of our contest “Write Our Bio” Thomas “Turtle” Bennett & Elijah “Admiral Poop Nose” Fischer
Sal “Semantics Potatoes” Rosenberg was born in Denver, CO to two loving parents sometime in the 1970’s. Sal was born into an unfortunate cities NFL franchise. He has a deep love for the Dolphins win or loose. He was a slightly below average student throughout his schooling graduating number 2 of 5 in his homeschooling class. while in 8th grade he met and fell in love with his 2nd cousin. I mean come on he is only human and she did go on to win Colorado’s largest beauty competition. ” Hottest woman that isn’t a sibling”. Sal decided after graduation that he wanted to get paid to drink and travel. Well that meant joining the Military and as he could not be around to much semen that left the Navy out. He had no desire to look cool in uniform and get quality pussy that left the Marine Corp out. And since he actually has a brain and can think for himself that left the Army out. So Chair Force it was. Not to long after enlisting in the Air Force he met his practice. While it was a short romance it was passionate. One day while they were hanging up pictures in their new place Sal was trying to be funny and thought the drill was empty and pressed it against her leg and pressed the trigger. She cried out in pain as Sal had not looked at the drill bit and it was not empty and he cut her leg up. Needless to say the marriage did not last long and after a few short years they got divorced. Sal then proceeded to drink and fornicate his way across all 7 continents over the next 10 years on the taxpayers dime.
Sal met he current wife Jessica about 5 years ago and they both grew instantly it was love. They got hitched within a year and have 2 kids. Sal retired from the Air Force last year after 21 years of service. He now occupies his time doing the immense honey do list his wife updates daily as well as fixing he septic system and running from the mice all over his property.
When he isn’t drinking (which is rare) he enjoys hosting the Notplayingstupid podcast with his hetero life mate.
Sal “Michael J Fox hands” Rosenberg hails from the mean streets of Colorado, however has since moved to the PNW to find the perfect dick shaped tree. At only the age of 39 Sal has enjoyed a lifetime full of adventures while simultaneously trying to prove that he may be the dumbest man alive. Sal has also proved to be a great husband and father to two children by passing on his knowledge and wading in their diarrhea at his lovely new house from time to time.
With all seriousness Sal is a fantastic person to know and has made many a loyal friends and fans with the NPS Podcast. He interacts and shows real concern for all of the “Dikks” out there.
2 thoughts on “Sober Sal”
This has some spelling and grammar errors I did not notice before. Want me to fix them?
love it though.
I didn’t notice when i breezed through it. ill fix them but thanks